Duran Duran’s Paper Gods – A Melange of Feces and Urine

by The Intolerant Man

This … is a band that once opened a show by playing Frank Zappa’s Watermelon in Easter Hay.

I could leave it at that. And say no more.

Perhaps I should, because truly Duran Duran is a dead, dead, long dead group. And anyway the band that existed then were different in many ways, thanks in great part to the vital inclusion of Warren Cuccurullo, who is to this day and will always be sorely missed in that band. As will Andy Taylor.

None of them could save this band now. Duran Duran have taken tripped over their own ego’s and fallen headfirst into a pile of muck of their own making.

Any remotely intelligent Duran listener knows all the facts: Over abundant studio tricks, copy pasted trend crap, cheap keyboards, next to no guitars or other instruments, auto-tune, Nick’s ego tripping, John and Simon’s never ending quest for fame and validation from … the mainstream. The media. What once was ‘I Don’t Want Your Love’ is now ‘Gimme a Scrap, Just a Used Tissue of Your Validation.’

The reality is that Paper Gods is flat out mainstream dance/pop.

The closest they’d come to that was some pop tracks on various albums: Wedding, Liberty – although those ones had some faint touch of melody and songwriting – Shelter, Liberty …. Those were pretty pop, but this is a whole new level, to the point where it is IDENTICAL to the worst of mainstream radio. To put this in 80s terms, it would be as if Duran Duran had put out something akin to a Bananarama or Rick Astley song.

(Mind you, Bananarama and Rick Astley sound like geniuses compared to our pop acts today).

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Another radio hit.

This is something even I could not have foreseen even a week before release. THIS, despite my having declared this a disaster based on the announcement of the collaboration and again, on the release of the first song, followed by two others, including the diarrhoea inducingly infamous Keisha song.

This trumps even their thus far worst attempts at self-sabotage beginning with the ‘work’ of Timbaland, which again I had warned about in late 2006 as soon as that project was announced. John Taylor and others gushed about it for a year, then quickly dismissed it when it failed! (Talk about a bunch of phonies who will say absolutely anything to get ahead; what is this, the never ending American Yuppie Dream?)

Follow up, All You Need is Now, which was another faux ‘masterpiece’ hoodwinked some Duranies, on the basis of it neatly replicating their older songs. So great is the need to ‘relate’. And be ‘relevant’. I may be hidebound, but I believe you need deeper roots into something like philosophy, spirituality or science to reach that space in life – not a bunch of posers who believe their own statements made to the press. One time Le Bon compared his band to being something next to Zeppelin (overrated imo) in greatness, and now Duran believe they’re really going to endure by writing for 17 year olds. Their Lady Xanax like dwindling base does as well.

You can always talk something up to the point where it sounds great.

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14 comments

  1. Roger · September 12, 2015

    This review sucks! Duran Duran rock live and their new album is AWESOME..best one yet! Always think outside the box!! Rock on duran duran…

    Like

  2. Roger · September 12, 2015

    This is the same band that redid Perfect Day and even Lou Reed loved it! Said it sounded better than his version..Over 100 million records sold and almost 40 yrs in the Biz==they can’t be that bad!!!

    Like

  3. Nick · September 13, 2015

    I have been a HUGE Duran Duran ‘fan’ since 1982. Paper Gods is absolute bloody garbage from start to finish. This review is cock on! Red Carpet Massacre was ten times better than this…..and that was utter shite too!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Intolerant Man · September 13, 2015

      From start to finish, damn right. There can’t be a further low from here, can there?!

      Like

  4. Zaffy · September 14, 2015

    lol this is such a bitter review.
    I can’t understand why people write something so negative for music they don’t like.
    You don’t like it, I get it, but the rest just covers your need to rant about something. Except if you have personal issues with someone from the band 😀

    And mind you, I do have an opinion of what Duran Duran have become, and it is not very flattering.
    But they have composed some great pop tunes, and occasionally they still do so.

    Like

    • The Intolerant Man · September 14, 2015

      Good point and analysis.

      But have you also asked yourself why some people have to respond to a critique, even if only to say ‘your opinion’? 🙂

      Like

      • Zaffy · September 14, 2015

        Imho, the new single is a desperate attempt for a hit.
        Which is why I was curious to read your review, when I saw the link in the Guardian comments.
        I like reading reviews. Reviews, not rants. I don’t get the idea of ranting about music. Whatever Duran have in their mind (I guess money or some weird obsession to come back and prove they are great – the don’t need do btw) is their choice. Its their music. I do get how it is when an artist you once liked to not keep writing songs like the ones you loved.
        But I still cannot understand the anger.

        Btw, I quite liked Paper Gods, the song, it is like summarizing all of their early influences. I haven’t heard any other songs from the Album.

        So which are your fav DD songs?
        Secret Oktober, Save a Prayer, Serious, We need you, Skin Trade, Ordinary World, All she wants is,
        Leopard, Lady lay, Shadows on your side the first 10 that come in mind. I bet I can think of 10 more.

        Like

      • The Intolerant Man · September 14, 2015

        “I like reading reviews.”

        You evaded the question. I asked why some people have to make it known that they’re against someone posting an opinion or critique, as you have done.

        For my list of DD songs, see the other post or the Duran Duran for the Thinking Man video.

        P.s. You should listen to the whole album; then read my review again.

        Like

  5. Zaffy · September 14, 2015

    You post something in a blog. Then you post the link to the Guardian.
    Apparently you want to share your post with people who read an article about Duran Duran.
    So you inviting people in. With comments open.
    That means you want to get opinions about your post. From other people that also like or liked Duran Duran.
    So I wrote my opinion.
    Am I missing something here? I mean english is not my first lang, but still…

    p.s. It’s been sometime since I liked a whole DD album, since Rio actually. So I would be surprised if I will like this one. But I might find some gems of songs. They stil do write some good songs the buggars 🙂
    p.s.2 We both like Serious 🙂

    Like

    • The Intolerant Man · September 15, 2015

      Quite simply, you were looking for an argument. I think you have a sufficient grasp to understand that. Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

  6. Someone who actually likes music · September 15, 2015

    What a shit review

    Like

  7. DonkeySmell · September 17, 2015

    This is so ironic. I thought the album was great – this site, however, IS poop. Was going to bump that up to “terd”. F it, this site is shit.

    Like

  8. zidders · April 7, 2016

    Eh, I think it’s a fun listen. Anyone who expects musicians to always be perfect is being unrealistic. As far as the review title goes…really? lol

    Like

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